There is usually one major difference between the CEO of a corporation and the janitor – their belief system.
Seems extreme, right? You could argue that a lot of CEOs are more intelligent, had a different upbringing, and had more opportunities. And while that may sometimes be a factor – is it always true?
If it is a fact, then how do you explain the situations where people who came from nothing made it to the very top? The self-made millionaires from rough backgrounds who lived in absolute poverty?
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The true difference is that those people got past their limiting beliefs. They didn’t listen to the voice in their head that told them they couldn’t do it. They ignored the beliefs that “people like them” just weren’t meant for that life.
So what exactly are limiting beliefs? A limiting belief is any thought that occurs in your mind telling you that you can’t have what you desire.
It is called a limiting belief because it holds you back. It gets you to stop and think that maybe you should stop trying for what you want. It keeps you from making decisions that would move you towards your goals.
Our limiting beliefs are lies.
The Science Behind Limiting Beliefs
Our subconscious mind is what dictates all of the limiting beliefs that we have.
The brains Reticular Activating System (RAS) is what filters through information, choosing what is important and what is unnecessary. It is always on the lookout for evidence to validate our beliefs. Our beliefs are what is significant to our RAS, and anything else is shifted out.
This is why we can be in the middle of a crowded room, surrounded by noise, staring at our smart phone – but the minute we hear our own name we snap to attention. We become alert because our RAS knows our name is important to us!
This bundle of nerves exists to create our efficiency. It helps us see what we want to see. Therefore, influencing our decision making. And it is all based on the beliefs we have told it are true.
How does it know what our beliefs are? Beliefs are just thoughts we have had many times, usually backed by an emotion. So a traumatic experience, or even just something someone said that struck a nerve with us, tends to stick. We think about it over and over and there is emotion behind it.
Ever tried to convince someone to like or unlike Donald Trump? Or change their religion? Pretty difficult, right?
It is because our beliefs are real to us. Our subconscious mind is always looking to validate them, remember? So of course they seem entirely real, because we subconsciously shift away any opposing thoughts.
Identifying The Lies
So what does this have to do with someone becoming a CEO or a Janitor? We see what we want to see. We see what we expect to see. We get out of life what we believe we will. And we make decisions based on this system too, further validating our beliefs.
The up and coming CEO sees opportunities and pounces at them – fearlessly. She doesn’t let self-doubt hold her back from making decisions and taking steps. She is confident in herself, and that creates even more opportunities for her.
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She gets over failures quickly, because she believes in her overall success.
Her RAS shows her open doors – because that is what she believes are out there for her. The janitor might see the exact same door – but see it closed.
We started developing beliefs about ourselves at a very young age. These can come from a myriad of factors. Things people said to us that stuck in our minds. The way people looked at us in certain situations. Getting laughed at or made fun of. Traumatic experiences.
The important thing is to start identifying these limiting beliefs – and challenging them.
We have the power to rewire our brains. But just like trying to accomplish anything else, it simply isn’t going to happen overnight.
We have to commit ourselves to doing the necessary work, or we can’t expect results.
So what might a limiting belief look like in our modern lives? An example for me, which I realized recently, is that I developed a belief that if others look good or succeed in the same way I am trying to, I can’t be successful.
Now, the logical part of my brain would of course tell me this isn’t true. I obviously know that another’s success can’t hinder my own. It just isn’t possible.
That is why it is so important to learn and understand our subconscious mind. This is the part where a thought pops up for me and makes me feel jealous when someone else gets something I want, even if it isn’t in direct competition.
I then hold myself back by being in a mindset of “I can’t have it” or “I won’t succeed”. This makes me less likely to even take the next steps to get what I want.
Through curiosity and inquiry, we can make it a habit to evaluate our thoughts. So rather than judging our thoughts all the time, or creating a story out of them, we can simply observe them. We can decide whether or not we want to believe the lie that is a limiting belief.
Books to help you identify and change limiting beliefs:
Rewiring The Brain
Okay, so now I know I am responsible for deciding what beliefs to hold onto, therefore dictating my outside world – now what?
Our subconscious brain works like a loop – everything we have known to be “normal” gets repeated. We think the same thoughts over and over, without realizing it. This creates our belief system. Our belief system drives our decision making.
Anything new feels out of place in the loop, feels uncomfortable, and gets rejected.
This is why it is so damn hard to quit habits, such as smoking. We have at some point developed a limiting belief such as: “I can’t quit”, “It is hard to quit”, “I’ll probably get cancer anyways!”, or “Everyone around me smokes – this is normal”.
(Our brains Amygdala also programs us to flee from discomfort, but that is a whole other topic!)
These beliefs pop into our brains during our process of attempting to quit smoking. It would be the same with trying to diet, exercise more, changing career paths, or anything else we are looking to change in our lives.
Basically, we determine if any of these things are hard or if they are easy. It isn’t so much the act of trying to resist the 3rd bag of chips in a row: it is our thoughts about it.
If we had a belief that losing 20 pounds was easy, it would be easy to lose 20 pounds.
The first step is identifying our limiting beliefs. This takes a lot of deep, inner work. We typically have so many thoughts running through our minds all day that it is very difficult to focus on this.
Rewrite Your Belief System
Handwriting directly sends signals to the brain. This is why taking notes in school is so important, because it helps us remember. Eventually, if we write it down enough times, with the emotion behind it – it becomes a belief.
I call this the Bart Simpson Method – remember him writing things over and over on the chalkboard?
Try to think of all of the areas in your life where you struggle. All the areas you wish you could change. Everything that feels like it isn’t completely ideal.
I made my Rewrite Your Rules workbook to supplement this type of inner work. Get it here: Rewrite Your Rules
Try specifically to think of your “I am” statements. These are key to uncovering what is holding you back.
A simple method is just to bring out those inner limiting beliefs, write them down, cross them off and then rewrite new beliefs. This is the fun part, where we get to choose what to tell our RAS to be on the lookout for!
Once you’ve identified replacements, you’ll have to write them down several times every single day, and feel the emotion behind them.
It might look like this:
Limiting belief: I am broke. I’ll never be happy with my finances. I’ll never be able to save money. I can’t make any more money in my field.
Remember how the RAS is always seeking information to validate this?? It will always try to remind you how broke you are and that there is no way to save or make more money. It certainly won’t be helping you find new opportunities.
It will also be reinforcing your habits, creating excuses – all because you told it to!
Rewrite it: I am wealthy. I am a magnet for money. Money is an unlimited resource. Money flows easily to me. There is more than enough money to go around.
Choose an affirmation (phrase to affirm this new belief) that feels good to you. You’ll have to be able to feel the emotion behind it.
Once you think these new money thoughts over and over, write them down, repeat them out loud, over time they will become your new beliefs.
Once you create a new belief and it gets picked up by your subconscious mind, it will be played in that loop mentioned earlier. It will be part of what your RAS is on the lookout to validate.
REMINDER: This is an intense, long term process. If it was easy, everyone would have all the success they could dream of. But most people give up quickly in life.
Stay committed to this process, and watch your life change.
