You started Keto in January, which worked for a week or two and lost you a couple pounds, but let’s be real you felt like crap and stopped.

Then you jumped on the intermittent fasting bandwagon (don’t even get me started), until you realized you’d have to cancel all your brunch plans and dinner at 7:30pm plans and snacking after the bar plans..

Even when you lose 10 pounds, it never feels like enough.  It seems like no matter what, you’re never happy with the way you look.    

Now it is time to start bikini shopping and you can’t even appreciate the warmer weather because your chest hurts thinking about your love handles..

Sound familiar?

I was there.  I am someone who used to obsess over the weight on the scale.  If it was 3 pounds heavier than my “ideal weight” I was anxious.  I weighed myself obsessively, too.  Every few days I would weigh myself but ONLY at the optimum time – completely naked in the morning so I weighed the least.

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I used to use an app to count every calorie I consumed.  Except alcohol, of course..that was always somehow an exception.

But over time, it got better.  I became more and more comfortable in my own skin.  I did the self-development work necessary to change my thoughts and feelings. Meditation helped me focus on what was important.

I nourish my body with healthy food so I can feel good. I have no idea how much I weigh because it doesn’t matter to me. 

My health matters.  My energy matters.

We are ALL capable of having breakthrough after breakthrough into more confidence and self-love.

The Body Image Problem

We all know the girl who is skinny and beautiful and awesome, but thinks she’s fat.  Who talks down on herself.  It’s so weird to hear it because it is the exact opposite of what we know to be true by looking at her.

I can guarantee that most of you reading this – are that girl.

So why is it so hard to see that?

Most of us are living constantly in comparison mode.  All we do all day long is pick ourselves apart in the mirror, in pictures, and on the scale.  We scroll Instagram and see teeny tiny girls with super white teeth, tan skin, and about 3 pounds of makeup on. 

We see photos where the exact angle makes her boobs look twice as big as they really are.  We compare, compare, compare.

An hour goes by and *gasp* were still on the explore page of Instagram!  How did we get that far down the rabbit hole without even realizing it?!

Meanwhile, we seem to forget completely that most of these photos are edited…

For many of us, it’s almost an addiction.  Seriously.  Try setting aside a blank sheet of “paper” on the notes app on your phone.  For the next 3 days, put a note in every single time you think or talk about body image/looks/comparing looks/judging your own looks.

What if instead of having all of those thoughts and conversations about body image we actually thought about and talked about happy, positive things?? Or counted our blessings?? 

What if we used that time to find healthy, delicious recipes or take a super fun spin class??

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The Low Down On Diets

If you know me, you probably know I absolutely hate diets.  I think they can occasionally be beneficial for a small subset of people.  I think for the most part; they are part of an obscene problem that goes much deeper than our physical health. 

A diet, to me, implies something temporary.  If you go on a keto diet or carb free or intermittent fasting – you probably aren’t doing it with the intention of it being permanent. 

For most people most of the time, as soon as the diet is deemed to be over, the weight comes right back on.  Diets just don’t work long term.

If instead of dieting we just make small lifestyle changes a little bit at a time, most of us will have real results that are much more sustainable.

How To Make Permanent Lifestyle Changes

Once you get to a point of loving yourself like a best friend – making those changes becomes easy.

Something that has helped me develop a stronger love of self is to try to think of and view myself from another person’s perspective. 

For example: let’s say you had a daughter, and she woke up in the morning and said she was hungry.  Would you say to her, “Okay sweetie, well we’ll be having lunch in about 5 hours – you’ll just have to wait until then.” 

Or what if you had a friend staying for the weekend and the same thing happened.  They were hungry in the morning, but even though you have lots of food you told them they couldn’t eat until noon.  We wouldn’t do that, right? 

So why is it so easy for us to treat ourselves that way??? 

Doesn’t anyone remember Adam and Eve?!  Forbidden fruit is SO much sweeter.  If we go on a “diet” and deny ourselves all of our favorite foods, we are just going to want them more!

Let’s go back to the daughter analogy.  What type of food would you want your daughter to eat, ideally?  Would you be okay with her eating the occasional donut and loving her life?  Would you want her to eat mostly healthy, nutritious foods, with lots of fruits and vegetables, and also eat dessert?  

Would you encourage her to stay active by doing something she loved, like playing a sport or dancing?  Or would you force her to run on the treadmill even if she hated it?

Would you ever greet your best friend with: “Good Morning Sally!  Nice to see you, but your smile is a little cooked, you need makeup on ASAP, and when are you going to lose 15 pounds??” 

Why can’t we learn to be our own best friend, and treat ourselves the way we treat family and friends? Heck, most of us talk to people we don’t even like with way more respect than we talk to ourselves..

Learning to Love Yo’ Self

I strongly believe that when we develop self-love, diets become a thing of the past.  Binge eating from stress becomes a thing of the past.

Healthy lifestyle changes become a thing.  Finding a work out we love becomes a thing. 

But it is extremely hard to change the way we view and talk to ourselves.  It takes time and dedication.  It takes patience and the belief that it can and will happen.

When you love yourself like a best friend, you want to choose a superfruit smoothie from Panera instead of a Big Mac.  You learn to value your health over the numbers on the scale.  You learn to value your energy over anything. 

You learn to trust yourself to make healthy choices. 

You finally sign up for that kick-boxing class you’ve been dying to do but haven’t wanted to splurge on yourself for. 

Try to think of yourself as a loved and adored daughter and best friend.  View yourself from that perspective for a while, and see how it feels.

Do This Instead Of The Diet:

• Small, gradual lifestyle changes tend to stick the best.  Swap zucchini noodles for pasta, or mashed cauliflower in place of mashed potatoes.
• Challenge yourself to limit, and eventually get rid of, negative self-talk.  When the thoughts arise, ask yourself why you are having that thought.  Is it something worth depleting your energy, or do you want to replace it with something more positive?
• Try my free 3 week confidence course here.
• Find what triggers the feelings of self-doubt.  Do you need to stay off Instagram for a while?  Take a 3 day cleanse. 
• Write yourself a love note: sticky notes on your mirrors can work wonders in helping you remember not to talk down to yourself!
• Read one of these 5 books to boost your confidence.
• Find a way to exercise that you actually love!  You’ll stick it out way longer than the gym.  Try signing up for yoga classes with a friend, or plan a hike on the weekend.

Do whatever you have to do to keep your mindset and energy positive.

You can change the way you view and treat yourself, and it will change your life.

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