You know the feeling. It’s been 8 months on the job, and the expectations just grow and grow. Your boss is starting to lean in on you more. She’s expecting you to have the answers. Some parts of the job are still a struggle, and you feel like you haven’t totally grasped them.
Yet the pressure grows, as you are no longer the new kid on the block. No more excuses.
So what do you do? Place your resume on Indeed and start the job hunt again? Hear me out before you consider that option…
We all know the days of working at the same company for our entire career are long gone. The opportunity to switch jobs can mean better pay, better benefits and the allure of the bright green grass on the other side of the fence.
In fact, according to a survey by Forbes, 91% of millennials plan to stay at their job for less than 3 years!
But with more and more people leaving after 6 months on the job, longevity has become one of the key characteristics employers are looking for.
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When recruiters look at a resume and see that you worked at 3 different companies in the past 3 years, they wonder if you’ll leave as soon as the job starts to lose its initial luster.
They will worry about investing in training you, just to have you use that training at another company. In addition, many companies look for applicants that can grow within the organization, which typically requires staying at the company for more than 1 year.
The largest danger, however, is not to our resume. It’s to our mindset.
Why Giving Up Is Dangerous
What happens when we allow ourselves to jump ship as soon as things get rocky?? Or every time the next best thing comes along?
We are training our brains to run from discomfort. We are literally doing the opposite of what I teach when it comes to growing confidence. We are making ‘giving up’ part of our “normal”.
Once our subconscious mind picks up on this “normal”, it literally gives us excuses in order to always create that result. It looks for ways to get us out of things that cause us discomfort. It keeps us playing small.
And this won’t just apply to career choices. The brain is either being conditioned to adjust in unsettling times and enjoy what we have, or running to the next best thing. Think relationships, physical health, personal life changes…
These decisions to quit will not always align with our true, core values. That “fear” voice in our mind that tells us to get out as soon as it is uncomfortable is generally quite the opposite.
This can lead to our stress, anxiety and overall dissatisfaction with our lives. It is what keeps us from making changes in our lives, even positive ones.
Why be someone who gives up easily? Do you really want to live the rest of your life with a brain that is trained to allow you to quit doing the things you once committed to?
And think about it.. do you really want to live in a society where more and more people give up when the going gets tough? Who will run our country, our schools, our hospitals?
The brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) begins being programmed from birth. It quickly picks up on what we give importance to, such as our own name. This is exactly why you hear your name so clearly in a crowded, loud room. Your brain literally filters for the important info using the RAS.
Read more about the science side of this here!
What about the information that we have deemed unimportant or “not real”?
The brain is programming itself constantly to avoid all of those “unnecessary” details. This is how our bias occurs, and why it is so hard to change someone’s mind.
Since the RAS is programmed by us, it is fully possible to change it. We can start to intentionally reprogram our subconscious mind for success, happiness and just about anything else.
If you are someone who gives up easily, has a hard time sticking things out, or always seems to come up with an excuse – this is why. However, it is generally hard to identify those things in ourselves due to the very same reason!
Our mind always wants us to be innocent. We always look for blame elsewhere.
Building Our Grit
Angela Duckworth, in her incredible book Grit, tells us about the benefits of sticking things out for a year. She describes this as a way to develop our grit further, by not allowing ourselves to give in. This trains our brain to stick things out, whether that is a job or a new health routine.
Obviously, you’ll want to stick out at least some of your jobs longer than 1 year if you want to be someone who gets called in for interviews after submitting your resume.
5 Job Search Mistakes & How To Avoid Them
Other ways to grow your resilience? Stepping out of your comfort zone!
I call this the Challenge Mindset. I developed mine early in my sales career. I realized that getting rejected all day long, both over the phone and in person, was the biggest thing contributing to my growing confidence.
I started looking for ways to challenge myself further. When an awkward conversation needed to be had, I would start off dreading it – but quickly catch myself and remind myself of the opportunity to grow.
Once I got into management, I taught my employees to seek the same challenges. Not only is it a great way to develop a strong mindset, it also gives us a reason to look forward to the things we once feared. A double win!
Another life hack for building grit is simple and adds ZERO time to your day – a cold shower! WHY? Because, as you will see if you decide to experiment with this, our brain tells us, “NO! Don’t do that. Just keep the hot water on, please?” In other words, stay comfortable at all costs.
I generally shower in hot water until the last 2-3 minutes. Then, I turn the water uncomfortably cold. And in this very simple manner, I train my brain every single day that I do not have to stay in my comfort zone.
I teach my brain that I won’t run from the fear voice, trying to keep me safe and small.
So identify the things that would move you forward in life, but scare you. The fears you have that you know deep down are irrational. The awkward conversations. The things you want to give up on at the surface level, but at your core you know are right for you.
And then go after them like the fierce woman you truly are.
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