Have you ever wondered why, despite all of your success, you feel insecure? Or why you doubt yourself in regards to your achievements?
Imposter Syndrome is a concept first developed in the 1970s, and is thought to fester itself mostly in high achieving women, but can affect anyone. It involves feeling as though you are a fraud, as though at any time it could be revealed that your success was sheer luck.
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It can also go hand in hand with perfectionism. Perfectionists want full control and have difficulty delegating. Their need to do things perfectly all the time is often a result of Imposter Syndrome, and feeling as though they are never good enough.
Similarly, being a workaholic can coincide with Imposter Syndrome. Feeling as though it is necessary to work through breaks, skip lunch, arrive earlier and leave later than colleagues – these can all be the subconscious effects of feeling self-doubt in your role.
Moms often doubt their parenting, despite all of the things they do and give up for their children every single day.
The crazy thing about Impostor Syndrome is that it can affect anyone, regardless of how successful they appear on the outside. In fact, it often seems to intensify with increased success.
What Does Impostor Syndrome Look Like?
Even mega successful actresses experience this phenomenon. Emma Watson, in a Vanity Fair interview, stated that when she is praised for her acting, she is super uncomfortable and feels as though she is an impostor.
Kate Winslet has also expressed her self-doubts, and has often felt as though she was going to be found out as a fraud when she is cast for a role. When Jodie Foster won an Oscar, she described feeling as though it was a mistake.
It is hard to imagine these incredible, award winning actresses doubting themselves the way we do. Why is it that we see the absolute worst in ourselves, and the best in everyone else?
When I got my first job in management, I worked in a hospital housekeeping department. There were 3 other managers in the department, all of them 20+ years my senior. A lot of the employees that we managed were old enough to be my parents.
I attended meetings throughout the hospital with nurse managers, operating room managers, directors, VPs, the CEO. And me. A 22-year-old girl with virtually no relevant experience.
I spent a lot of time crying in that first year into my career.
Being in that situation taught me an incredible amount. Every day I faced Imposter Syndrome. Every day, though, I got stronger.
Fast forward a couple of years and I feel like a completely different person. I gained confidence. I learned to laugh at myself. I developed my own authenticity. I can’t imagine who I would even be if it weren’t for the difficulties.
Yet I continue to be a workaholic nut.
I continue to feel as though everything I do has to be perfect.
On business trips, dressed in a pant suit, I still feel like a little girl playing dress up.
Little by little, though, it is getting much better. Here is where I share with you what has worked for me.
Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
1. Break Down That Comfort Zone Wall
Last year, I showed up to a corporate training with a LOT of nerves. We were required to practice sales calls in front of our whole region. Being one of the youngest managers, I was in doubt that I would be any good.
I was convinced that everyone else would be much more impressive than me. The situation had Impostor Syndrome written all over it.
What I took away from the experience was twofold. First, it turned out I was actually pretty good in comparison to my counterparts. Second, ironically enough, I found out almost everyone I spoke to had the same fears and doubts I did.
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It seemed like we all felt like we would show up and fail miserably. We feared we would be found out – that we didn’t deserve our titles after all.
I learned a lot at that training, but the best part of it for me was that it broke away just one more piece of my comfort zone wall.
We simply have to get used to stepping out of our comfort zone as often as possible. Make it a challenge to yourself. Seek out these situations. Volunteer to do them. Tell yourself over and over and over that this is for your growth and that you will become happier.
Every time we put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and do what we thought we couldn’t – we grow.
2. Embrace Your Authenticity
What if instead of feeling insecure when something doesn’t go perfectly, we just giggled at ourselves instead? What if when we did something “embarrassing” in public, we laughed instead of wanting to cry? Wouldn’t life be a whole lot more beautiful and fun?
To put Imposter Syndrome to rest, we’ve got to learn not to care what others think.
Practice being yourself – your silly, weird, messy haired, awkward, sensitive self. When someone laughs at something you said, most of the time it isn’t that they are making fun of you. Realize that.
When you stumble in your adorable black pumps, be the first to laugh out loud. When an error is revealed and it was your mistake, admit it. Life gets a whole lot better when we stop taking ourselves so damn seriously.
How often have you been with a friend who was just nitpicking the crap out of themselves for something you never would have even noticed?
Or when she complains about being fat or having weird hair or being pale when the truth is she’s utterly gorgeous?
Remind yourself that this is what people are thinking about you. You have so many wonderful attributes that make you unique. You don’t realize what they even are. You receive a compliment and think, “What?! She definitely just said that to be nice… or is she crazy??”
These books also helped me gain confidence and ditch the worry: 5 Must Read Books To Boost Your Confidence
These unique things, the ones we so often hide just to try and blend in, are usually what makes us so loveable to begin with.
Be you, own it, and learn to laugh at it.
3. Make Positive Affirmations A Habit
The subconscious mind controls our emotions, which control our mood. It believes whatever we tell it. If we tell it we are poor, guess what? It believes we are poor. Therefore, we do things poor people do. We do whatever goes along with what we tell the subconscious mind to believe.
Going against it and doing whatever it is we believe wealthy people do just won’t happen. Because it goes against what we believe is possible.
To control anything in life, anything at all, we’ve got to get a grip on the thoughts we allow to fester in our mind. These thoughts become our subconscious beliefs. These beliefs shape our decisions without us even knowing it.
We’ve got to convince ourselves we are worthy. That we deserve our success.
Most of all, we’ve got to use affirmations to manifest positivity into our day and repel negative thinking.
When self-doubting thoughts come into our mind, push them away. Focus on the positive. Remind yourself that you are awesome. That you can do anything. That you love yourself. That you love your hair, eyes, brain, home, friends, degrees, job, city, life.
The more we think positive, thank God for our blessings, and release positive vibes into the universe, the more we release self-doubt.
Believe the magic is in you.
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